Sunday Symphony

A new week begins. After the past week (or if I'm going to be brutally honest the past 3 months)...I don't have high hopes for this new one.

My job in corporate america has got me running in so many different directions these days. The stress level is just about the worst I've experienced in a decade - and trust me, that's saying so much. Took on an entire job on top of the one I already have; not thru any choice of mine. As an Executive Assistant my job is really not my own. So now I support two senior-level executives in a Fortune 100 company - in the form of one person. My boss (aka His Nibs) took on an additional C-Suite role and while we were going to split the E.A. responsibilities between 2 of us, His Nibs decided he only wanted one and since we've worked together for nearly 9 years - the obvious choice was me.

Obvious. Obviously.

And not one of my already-existing job responsibilities has been shifted to anyone else since this began nearly 3 months ago. Oh they discuss it, they assure me it will happen - then talk in circles around me. One person says one thing, then another says the other person said something totally different. As if I can't see what's going on. 

I don't think His Nibs is fully aware of the shenanigans that are taking place around me; and I try to keep him informed since the others involved don't seem to be doing their part. It's an ongoing battle that is just wearing me out.

(On a side note - I dislike intensely being treated like I'm a 5 year old, incapable of understanding how things work or what's going on. Just because I don't have some combination of "Vice President" in my title doesn't mean I'm not smart or at least savvy.)

But I digress. My job stress is really kicking the stuffing out of me (and by extension my life). Getting thru each day is a challenge of workload, additional demands, and trying not to cry. 

I pray. Probably not as much as I should yet in the time I have - I pray. Sometimes it's just 4 words - God, please help me.

Other times I do my best to pray like this:

Down like a child
On my knees
All that comes to me
Thy Will Be Done. 

I know you see me.
I know you hear me, Lord.
You're plans are for me.
Goodness you have in store.

Surrender. Give it all over to the Lord. Set down the baggage and let Him carry it for you.

If you know me at all, you'll know how incredibly difficult that is for me. Then again, it's probably difficult for all of us, so I know I stand on this corner surrounded by so many others. And so I pray; I listen to the song above on repeat. Praying each time that the words will sink into my deepest soul and help me - do it.

Which always, inevitably, leads this mere human being to ask those questions - the ones we don't like to ask. The....why's. The...when's. The...now's. 

God doesn't work that way of course. Anyone who has read even a small fraction of the Bible understands that God's Time is HIS to control. 

Times like these - with all that is going on in my personal life, work life and, for all of us, the mess that is the world we are enduring at present - really do make me question the wisdom, compassion and love of God.

Come Emmanuel, Come.

Please.